As an entrepreneur I was beaten and battered and worn out.
I considered myself a failure and didn’t have any energy to reignite my flame.
I had lost hope of my success and ability to drive through what was necessary to be an entrepreneur. I don’t think I even new how to look for it again.
The idea of getting a job was comforting but it also felt like I was being booked into a nursing home. Waiting to die. I had lost. This game of life had beaten me to a pulp.
I had become the disappointment, the one thing that I tried so hard to prove to my family I would never be. And yet people still believed in me. They still believed that I had something to give that I still had possibility, talent, skills and experience.
In fact, (what I didn’t yet realize) now I had more.
In the process of giving up. I had also assumed that I had lost everything when in fact I was gaining more experience that I had ever known possible. Experience that would be the most effective skill of all.
How to rise up and go again…..
How to rise up and start again.
How to rise up and shine like never before, and not based on hope like last time but with heart, passion and determination that showed no fear of loss because you were already down to bare bones.
Once you have experienced every known emotion to it’s extreme and allowed your insides to spill out onto the pavement for everyone to see there isn’t really anything to hide behind anymore.
Once you have had your heart broken and your eyes spilling out tiny razors from crying so much and your best days are measured by how much daylight you might see. Nothing really scares you anymore.
Your darkness has been your training ground for the ability to lead people to the light. As a light bearer you need to know how to get through the tunnels of darkness without any assistance so people faithfully follow you.
You aren’t afraid of the light being blown out because you know the terrain.
You have lived it
You have sat in it
You have walked and paced every corner and felt every damp cold floor bed of every turn.
The truth is you are really holding the light for them not for you .
You know the way out
You don’t need the light
You ARE the light.